Hollywood has four golden Chrises who all star in superhero films, are all “jacked, but in a sweet way,” per Kate McKinnon, and all had pretty damn big years. But which Chris will ultimately come out on top?

Over at SYFY Fangrrls, Kayleigh Donaldson offers us an in-depth, highly scientific dive into ranking the Chrises—that’d be Pine, Hemsworth, Evans, and Pratt—using such metrics as “geek world cred,” “social media excitement,” and “thirst trap.” The article determines that in the end Hemsworth squeaks past Evans to be crowned the Chris King of 2017, but it’s a lot of fun to read how they get there.

As a person who has seen Thor: Ragnarok four times in theaters (it’s a good movie, okay, I’m fine) I highly agree with Fangrrls’ choice, although Evans’ social media presence as Actual Captain America in this wretched political hellhole of a year and Pine’s turn as Steve Trevor in Wonder Woman, which made me cry real tears, made this a tight race. Chris Pratt was there too, Star Lording it up, although he was also in Passengers, so.

As you go into your holiday weekend, do take Chris Pine’s SNL monologue, in which he sings about the Chrises to the tune of Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl,” to warm you on those cold winter nights.

Do you agree with which Chris was crowned?

(via SYFY Fangrrls, image: screengrab/NBC)

• If you’re still not following Emo Kylo Ren on Twitter, what are you waiting for? A Force-Skype call?
  
  

  how do you politely but firmly explain to someone that she is your girlfriend

  — Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2017

• A fascinating and morbid history of how 19th-century women burned to death when their highly flammable dresses caught on fire. “It’s not a build-up like, ‘Oh my gosh, you’re smoking, let me tamp that out.’ It’s like, ‘Ahh!’ Your girlfriend beside you is a ball of fire, and you’re now a ball of fire, and boom boom boom boom boom boom boom, they’re all balls of fire.” (via Racked)
• The Washington Post is already ranking the top 15 possible Democratic candidates for President and oh my god, can we wait at least until this wretched year has passed? But at least the Rock is on there. Yes, that Rock. (via WaPo)
• Leave me here:

Happy holiday weekend, Mary Suevians, you wonderful Christmas miracles you. So what’d you see today?

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